Wow. Just ... wow.

A blog huh? A place to barf my brains out. i like it. it's been a while since my last confession. god damn it, it's been ages since I writ.

First things first. when reading my blog vomit you gotta know that if there's a typo; i mostly know it's there and i'm keeping it for a reason. typos are what make most things worth reading because they're usually the most honest thing a person can write. like when you type something like cockburger instead of hamburger, you're not thinking about ham.

anyway. second thing is i get in trouble by like, my parents a (I'm 36) lot when i write swears and rude stuff but jesus christ on a segway http://www.segwaycanada.ca/, I have got to be me. I have got to cunting be me.

Third thing. I usually think a lot of blogs are for people who are self absorbed to self obsess. But I have come to realize that it can be fun and helpful when people write from their own experience. This particualr post is kinda like the first season of Dexter where a lot of the plots were focused on what made him a serial killer and why he had a 'code of conduct.' i have improper feelings for the dude that plays Dexter so that's pretty much why i bring him up. it makes me feel closer to him. I have a bit of a ginger fetish and he just sets it off. Yes, i'm in a committed relationship. Just like Kobe Bryant. kidding. I'm kidding. unless you're Michael C. Hall. I'm kidding.

So, I just had a baby. So, there's that. Some close friends and family have been encouraging me for some time to write down my 'birth story.' It's a tough thing to do. Emotionally. I have no trouble writing silly things that don't impact me emotionally because they have never happened to me. It's easy to see the joke if you aren't a player in the setup or punchline. I do some writing for @therealtruenews https://twitter.com/#!/TheRealTrueNews with some wicked peeps. Might have some regular gigs coming up to that i'll obnoxiously invite everyone on my fb friends list to come watch. Then when you click 'maybe' on the guest event because you want to encourage us, but not by being in the audience we will send you an irritating message that starts off like this; 'Hey there Maybe's!!!' (the more exclamation marks you use for emphasis, the shittier writer you are. a smart person once told me this. Anyways, I still do it because i'm girly like that.)

So I get knocked up and all of a sudden I start eating cheese again. Ain't that a bitch? Now I know why non vegans think vegans are idiots. cheese is really good. Who in their right mind would give that up. well, except guys. I guess not all guys are into that. I would like to get back to being vegan again. but cheese has got my by the taste balls.

So I'm going to write a bit more. Maybe even share my birth story. it'll be good for the soul and I'll try to keep it semi-interesting.

If my punctuation is off, it's because I haven't given what i've writ to my friend Kyle to edit for me. he loves doing that shit because he's smart. people who are good in english love showing off how good they are. if i ever get gooder at it, i am going to flaunt it SO HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i guess i make smart people really feel even smarter for some reason. whatever.

I'm pretty sketchy at being consistent with blog writing but i need to do it. almost as bad as i am when it comes to log riding. So, for the love of Tebow http://tebowing.com/ and Dexter, i will try to keep writing...

I struggled a bit for the visual for this entry and settled on Dexter because a hot guy pretty much trumps all the stuff i just wrote about and if you hate what you've just read and feel like you can never get back that time you just wasted you can at least love me a bit for finding this picture of a man god and posting it for you. how was that for a fucking run-on sentence?

Cheerio